Since going on the prednisone my writing has ground to a near stand still.
I am bombarded by story ideas, but they disappear like soap bubbles when I finally have time to sit and write.
It's frustrating. It's like I have lost the internal music I write to. Just still never ending silence in my soul.
So frustrating.
I have so many more stories to tell. I am not done yet.
DO you hear me illness, medication side effects? I AM NOT DONE YET. Let go of your hold on me.
I wonder, is the trade off worth it? being comfortable and having the chronic pain eased a bit vs never being able to write again?
It's like I sold my soul for comfort in my damaged body.
Functioning equals existing right now. A writer less zombie, dis-attached from my words. I don't feel alive right now.
All I feel is this murky simmering, threatening to boil over weight, of prednisone induced irritable-rage stew cooking in my head.
It's not fun.
My soul want to write. But not to that soundtrack.
bah.
