Thursday, November 6, 2014

Healing or choosing not to heal

Is the ultimate goal of going into therapy to heal?

Or is it more complex then that.

Guess first we need to define healed.

For me I don't think its is possible to be healed. But rather to be healing.

Healed to me = finished /completed.

So I can't see that to be the goal of therapy. People will always be affected to one point or another by the events of the past. It has sadly left its imprint on us.

The goal of therapy is my this:

To learn to live with what I carry. To drop what I don't need to haul around and to practice the art of healing. (ie self parenting and using healthy coping skills.)

I left therapy in my 20's thinking "I'M HEALED."

as I grew and got more life experience under my belt and aged into a different head space I discovered, ...I need to heal again.

That I am now ready to tackle some of the deeper issues in my soul. I am now able to peek under some more rocks in my head.

Something I couldn't do in my twenties. That is when I realized its a healing journey. That it doesn't end, that it will ebb and flow like the tide...and my job was to learn to swim in it or learn to leap the waves.

A friend recently mentioned they were choosing not to heal. I honor and respect that. In a way holding it is standing your ground and saying, I would rather stay here in this place of familiar pain then leave and be subjected to a new pain I am not familiar with.

Its saying "I known the rules of this madness that was inflicted upon me, and as strange as it may sound...this is where I feel I belong."

and there is nothing wrong with that choice. It is after all you standing up to the lack of control in your life/body and saying firmly. "I get to choose now."

That choosing brings power and control. That is a necessary component to finding peace within your self.

Healing? peace? how about just having "life" within your soul, the ability to breath and not have to hurt 24/7.

Sometimes the goal of therapy is just to learn to breath.

What end goal you strive for is personal. What plateaus you reach only you will know, what will trigger you to work on your healing journey again in the future? only the future knows.

Realizing you are where you are supposed to be right now and not rushing yourself to be somewhere else is a strong lesson. As is realizing your back pedaling to avoid going forward.

Even if your journey is marching endlessly in the same spot till the ground is packed and hard, you are still on a healing journey.

Each of us must decide for ourselves where we are going and when its time to stop and rest and when its time to get up and run.

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