Thursday, July 25, 2013

Old nightshift poems

Insanity like a panther
paces around
its cranial cage...
At night she hears
the soft rhythmic padding
of its
velvety paws...
it echos in her ears
causing her
to doubt her sanity.

(You know how when you lay on your pillow and you can hear your heart beating in your ears? that is that the poem is describing)

I dance with Yarrow
under painted sky
warrior wears buck's skin
and deer is naked upon the plain
I wear doe's skin
she is naked now
who will wear my skin
when its my turn
to dance naked
on the plains.



The words tumble out awkwardly
on blue lined paper
that is not what I meant to say!
in ink
no erasure, no voiding
for all time.
She rips the paper
crunches it, concealing it
digesting it
destroying it...
confessions of a writer
author at large.


(Working night, and functioning on limited or zero sleep can create a wonderful thing called sleep deprivation psychosis. This following poem I wrote on one such night. The night shift would amuse ourselves by writing goofy poems and this night I was particular full of no sleep and goofiness.)

What the 'ell?

No heaven or hell
no William Tell
or Howard Cosell
no church bell
or farmer in the dell
to holler and yell
about cousin Nell
who has fell
into the well
while she tried to sell
spermicidal jell.

(c) 8-22-1988

Keepsake chest

A broken chain
Two hairs from a stallions mane
Three shards from a shattered window pane
an old man's twisted cane
two cups of winter rain
three flowers from Harbeck lane
an arrow from a weather vane
two cards from cousin Jane
three words spoken in vain
a "nothing to gain"
two ounces of horrible pain
three chances of becoming insane

(c) December 19, 1987


I don't write poems any more. I don't know why. I got married and I stopped. Though you can hear the poetic rhythms in my writing.

I am not functioning very well on the generic thyroid medication. :(  I have an appt for next week to see if the doctor can help. I am jotting down things to blog about and have a few things I plug away on when the brain fog isn't too crippling.

I am looking forward to having time in September to get back to writing. However I am enjoying my summer with my kids. I am not enjoying the over the top anxiety and other physical effects of the hypothyroidism.

I think I might even give in to the anxiety and let it write tomorrow night. I have drafted 2 complete blogs recently and then deleted them I am just ...way off base line.

I hate feeling like poo.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

One left

It occurs to me I should probably take a college class when my children return to school this fall. I have a specific one in mind. Math 101.

You see, that is the one class I am lacking to graduate.

I was on schedule to graduate the year the horse flipped over on me. I have something insane like 150 college credits. Every time they wanted to pin me down and declare a major I would squirm out of the loop by saying…”Major? Heck I am just working my way through the catalog. I’m up to the M’s now.”

Which is partly true.

I loved to learn and took what ever turned me on at the time. Once it became clear I couldn't pursue a career in nursing due to the OJI injury, I started just taking what ever. Which is why I have so many credits. LOL. I am a well educated nincompoop.

I was able to complete world history II and III and one other class after the surgery, but I couldn’t get the math to stick in my head and had to drop out.

I am ONE class short of an AA degree.

I was going to transfer to the other college by me and pursue a teaching degree. But life side tracked me and I got lost in the sea of depression and nearly drowned.

As far as I know only my fabulous older sister has a college degree. None of the other kids completed college. I should get ½ a point for being the closest.

What would that little piece of paper do for me? Well, it could keep my high school diploma company. I have a successful career without ever completing college. I have no education debt and I paid cash for all my classes.

How many of you know I flunked English 101?


What a strange curse…brilliant writer who can’t spell worth a can of beans.

Hmmm….might be fun, doing homework with the kids.

I still have my graphing calculator. Wouldn't that be a hoot! Going back to school at 47/48 years old!

I already know what would happen if I went back.

Next year at this time I would be blogging….this:

HAH! I now have 200 credits and they are still after me to declare a major! They will have to catch me and make me grow up first! I’m up to the W’s now!

PS....I am finally feeling better and back from the land-o-fog, either I am adjusting to the medication or the addition of Twinkies back in my diet as brought balance back.