Saturday, January 28, 2017

the Paja side effect

Soooo....the forced changed in thyroid medication (do to once again a levoxyl shortage) has caused the prednisone to abruptly stop working. 

yippy skippy.

Looking again at the other two drugs the doc want to use.

1st one has common side effect of CANCER.

2nd one uses words like DEVESTATING, and IRREVERSABLE in the same sentence as it details vison side effects that will lead to blindness.


just shoot me now.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Quiting my day job

Rheumatology appointment tomorrow. Everything is flared and out of control I am sure I'm sure I am going to get the "You shouldn't be working" lecture from this new doctor.

Been steeling my self for it.

Doctors have been telling me this since my 20's. The problem is, they don't tell me how to live without money. Hah.

So been thinking about this and I really need to give up one of my two jobs.

I'm going to give up the one I can't keep up with. The one that cause me to dread... my days on.
The one that pays the least.



Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Guest blogger again. Her latest book.

My daughters talent at writing dwarfs mine. Seriously how many 10 years olds write like this? I sit here and watch the stories just pour out of her into the computer. I am watching the voice of her generation.

(C) 2016 H. R. all rights reserved.

(This is written in cursive)
6:14 PM 12/16/2016
I've been wandering through this hall of somepony's home. My old filly life still trying to get out of my memory. I take my time writing in this notebook I've found on the graystone of this city. I do know Flis Gis, but that is a whole nother story. Of course, you know I am a mare, right?
I'm still just wandering through this hall, with my memory decapitating. I only remember few things from being a filly. And I hope you do like my hand writing. It takes practice to write so beautifully. I've got no clue who shall read my notes. But I'll shall throw them to the sky and move out when I've finished writing whatever.
6:20 PM 12/16/2016
Sorry about that pause. I had to stop writing because I saw Chrome Pony, just lying injured on a wall. Or what's left of her, anyway. I had looked at her, my head cocked and my eyes still bleeding with pain. "Chr-Chrome Pony? Is your heart still intact? Unlike... M-Mine?" My voice was still shaking since Pinkamena had fillynapped me. The horrors are still in my mind... Of that stuffed, Rainbow Dash head... It looked so real...
Well, anyway, Chrome Pony had looked at me, scarcely even trying to open her eyes. Her left front leg was missing, along with her back right leg. She had wires all ovver body and a chain collar on her neck. One pupil of hers was gone, replaced by a metal eye. "G-G-Gr... Ms. An-Anar-Anarchy.... How... Am I still breathing?" Chrome asked me, moving her hoof up a bit and looked at the wires coming out of the other hoof which wasn't there.
I took a step back, with precaution. "I ask myself the same question everynight and everyday."
Chrome was breathing heavy and was wheezing. "Am... I-I ali-ive?" she murmured, trying to speak but knew she couldn't. "Pr-Probably, yeah. B-But it s-seems what-ev-ever or wh-whoever did this to y-you must've wanted you to be-become a cy-cyborg," I responded, still with the shaky voice.
Chrome was surprised to hear me with a shaky voice. I could tell by the way her mouth and eyes were shaped.
6:46 PM 12/16/2016
Time is passing, isn't it? I just thought I'd give you another check in so you know what time I did what.
That is what had happened earlier. And this now.
I'm looking at Chrome Pony. We had sat down and decided to chat. "If y-you'd l-like to hear about what happened to me... Ms. iNSaNiTy..." she started, looking at my empty blinded white eyes head on. "I was just walking, stuck in my thoughts, when all of a su-sudden, En-Ennard came down t-the hall and grabbed me. H-His words are still in my head... 'You've escaped once... MARE! And I won't let you go without a fight! So you c-can believe all you want... I want to make this more interesting than just s-simply 'killing' you. I want to see if I can MAKE you a s-suit!' And h-he did whatever he could to make me ex-exactly that. He had left me once I looked like a cyborg-g m-mare being."
"Wow... That must've been painful," I said, concerned. Chrome Pony is looking at what my hooves are doing. "Why are you writing this?" Welp, I got some explaining! "I want to write about what happens to me. So somepony could find my notes, left where the last word was written. Maybe I'll actually matter then..." The shakiness was out of my voice fully now.
Wow, I've already gone through five5 pages writing this! Well, I guess I'll write some more later.
7:06 PM 12/16/2016
This is- Wait, did I tell you my name? OOPS. Eh-ehm.
7:07 PM 12/16/2016
This is
Gretel iNSaNiTY Anarchy Darkness,
7:08 PM 12/16/2016
I will be back, to my life of help, but just no p, and two2 l's
1:39 PM 12/17/2016
"Hey, Ms. An-Anarchy, you ar-aren't going to leave me, r-right?" Chrome Pony asked me when I got up from sitting next to her on the wall. "What choice do I have?" I asked, turning my head so my eyes were met with Chrome Pony's.
She tried using her broken hooves to get up from the wall, but didn't succeed. "You c-could take me with y-you by using your magic to carry m-me. Isn't that why you're an al-alicorn?"
I looked regretfully at the ground of the hall. "You'd just drag me down."
There was robot in Chrome's voice this time. "I-I wouldn't! I c-could help you save y-you from your-s-self."
1:46 PM 12/17/2016
"There are only two2 stallions who are capable of that!" I yelled at her, then turned the other way and tried cryimg. But Don't Cry had always told me, "Don't Cry, little filly. I never had a name, but my name is my favorite phrase!"
Chrome Pony sighed with hatred. "I-I guess I shouldn't b-be surprised. You are a-an evil mare, a-after all"
6:40 PM 12/17/2016
I had left Chrome Pony to die alone, like I was soon to, too. I had escaped the hall that I was stuck in after an hour of running and flying. I am now on the graystone again, in this world of pain and sorrow. My life is full of lies and death. Rainbow Dash had been flying forever and ever, searching for the end, with Daring Do. I never pronounced her name right. I seemed to say "Daring Doe".
6:51 PM 12/17/2016
I'm just sitting on a bench the humans used to use before the apocalypse.
Fluttershy was with the trees whilst her eyes were black with tiny red pupils in the center, she had one1 leg cut off, that being her left front one. She was killing all the animals and only caring for the plants. Psycho Fluttershy hasn't seen another pony in six6 weeks. Which is a month.
7:04 PM 12/17/2016
Dash still has her sanity, unlike the rest of us. She and Daring Do are trying to find a cure for our Craziness. She doesn't yet understand. There is no cure for lost sanity.
7:10 PM 12/17/2016
Apple Jack is now at a farm in the middle of a forest, killing any creature insight. Her eyes are just like Fluttershy's. Psycho Apple Jack just kills living beings with apples, in some way.
7:14 PM 12/17/2016
Pinkie, Psycho Pinkamena Diane Pie, is now fillynapping anypony she finds alone. She hangs them on a wall, then she kills them in a very gruesome way. She had almost killed me, but luckily my iNSaNiTY Magic was stronger than Psycho Pinkamena's Happiness Magic. Her eyes are like Psycho Fluttershy's and Psycho AJ's. Pinkamena (Psycho Pinkamena takes a lot of time) is making cupcakes with pony organs.
7:17 PM 12/17/2016
Psycho Rarity is now using pony organs and blood to make dresses. She's using sewing needles to murder ponies. Her eyes are the same, aswell.
7:20 PM 12/17/2016
Twilight Sparkle... Or, should I say, Solid Sparkle, is now wandering around cities and towns, murdering without anypony hearing a word. She's really sneaky that way. Solid has an ax and a knife. She uses the knife for sneaky kills. But when no pony is around to witness it, she grabs the ax for the most joy of the kill. Solid is the only one without Psycho in the beginning, besides me.
7:24 PM 12/17/2016
I bet you're wondering how I know all this. I've seen them. I've traveled everywhere, and seen what they do. I use my magic to go invisable so I am not detected and murdered. Except for PP, Psycho Pinkamena, because I witnessed that first hoof!
7:30 PM 12/17/2016
This, has been Gretel iNSaNiTY Anarchy Darkness.
For I,
am Princess Anarchy,
7:31 PM 12/17/2016
I will be back, to my life of help, but just no p, and two2 l's
4:52 PM 12/18/2016
I'm now running in a maze. It's not fun, but it is scary as help. I'm not sure if this is the one1 where the Distrokeneds rome. They've been through so much. Ever since The second Pizzeria was built, Freddy and his friends have been in pain. They are WAT. Where Are They?. I don't envy them.
I heard a scream. It sounded like Bing, Xycron, Robin. He and Breezy have been stuck in this maze for so long. I need to get out before it's too late!
"Arr, scalywags. Always tryin' to hide from your old pal Foxy, aren't ye'?" I knew that voice. I knew it very well.
It was Distrokened Faxy.
In case you didn't know, the Distrokeneds are the FNAF crew, but more scarier and broken. The word 'Distrokened' comes from the two2 words 'Destroy' and 'Brokened'. Yes, we all know 'Brokened' is not a word.
Well, it is now.
I know very well that Distrokened Mangel, Distrokened Baconnie, Distrokened Chic-Chic, Distrokened Fraddy, Distrokened Bollaan Boi, and Distrokened Puuppet are somewhere here aswell.
Those were their replacements. They sought them down and brought them to their new humble abode.
Why do I know so much, you might ask? I think it's because I've been through so much and DIED so many times, that I now know so much.
"YARR HARR!" Distrokened Faxy yowled.
I went the apposite of his voice. They still haven;t figured out I'm there. Why can't I use my magic and teleport, you're asking? Magic doesn't work in this maze.
It's all about capability, speed, and luck.
But unfortunately for me, Distrokened Chica (CH I CUH) was looking around the corner and saw me. "Bok-bok! Mare sighted! All dead children focus on it's death!" she said, with only one leg and tried hopping to me. I quickly flew past her.
Well, this will be fun. ;(
5:41 PM 12/18/2016
I flew fast through this maze. "Don't try running, or in your case, flying," Distrokened Bonnay said. "Not today, Bonnie!" I called to him and flew past. I heard a bark from behind me. It was one of the only two2 with both legs intact. He could run much faster than Freddy, though. "Funny to see you here, Anarchy!" Why hasn't anypony called me by my real name yet?
I came to a dead end. Faxy was behind me. I looked at his torso, which was his endoskeleton. He was missing his left hand, his eyepatch, and his right ear.
I heard Distrokened Faxy begin to chant.
"I rome these halls endlessly; my soul deteriorating; I was the pirate the knew as Foxy; now I am Dis-Dis-Dis-DISTROKENED FAXY! I still can bite; I still can hear, I still can kill, I still can run, I still can chase,"
He opened his eyes and charged at me, his hook headed straight for my dead heart.
I flew up, just a second before he hit my soul. "You, sneaky mare..." Faxy grabbed me with what was left of his hands, and put his jaw to my neck. "You will suffer with THEM."
I kicked him with my back leg. "Not today, Foxy." My magic came through and then I picked Faxy up with my purple aura. "Try me."
Faxy made choking sounds and tried to rebel against my powerful magic. Celestia would be proud of me.
"A-Ah... I-I'm sorry... An-Anarchy... Plea-se... I d-don't want to d-die again..." Distrokened Faxy begged. I thought about it. "Maybe... But you better leave me alone, Pirate."
"O-Okay..." I put him down with a thud. Bonnay, Chica, and Freddy came to us. I noticed Mangel was on the ceiling. "F-Faxy?" she said. "Arr, methinks I'm okay..." he replied, his eyes going normal and not evil.
6:17 PM 12/18/2016
"Why is mare still breathing?" Chica asked. "Chica, she could've killed ME. This scalywag is more dangerous than the other two2," Faxy replied, standing up.
"I'm surprised Robin and Bree are still alive. I thought they would've died by now from you robots," I said. Bonnay looked at me. "I thought Anarchy hated us." I stamped my hoof with disapproval. "That's not true! I used to love you guys until robot pony places started opening up! And can ONE1 of you say my actual name and not my middle name for once?"
They all stared for a while, in silence. "We called you Anarchy because of the mark on your flank. We never knew it was your middle name. Plus you never told us your name in the first place," Freddy explanined.
"It's Gretel, okay?" I concluded. "It might take awhile to not say Anarchy, though. We've been calling you that this whole time," Bonnay said.
"Y-You don't s-scare me, M-Ms. Darkness," Mangel said from the ceiling. I looked up in surprise. "How do you know my last name?" Mangel looked around at the walls of the maze. "O-Oh, I've just b-been outside looking at t-the papers that find th-their way to our m-maze."
6:32 PM 12/18/2016
I stared at her for awhile, in shock. "The news has my name in it?" I asked.
"Apparently. It just says that a dark mare has been walking around, giving murderous stares at all the ponies she doesn't know. They asked who she was, and the name ended up being 'Gretel Darkness'. It had pictures of you, so I know you for sure," Mangel told me.
Faxy glared at her. "And you never bothered telling us, that, Distrokened Mangel?"
"May I leave?" I asked the four4 robots.
They all looked at eachother. "Sure. The exit is in that direction," Freddy pointed to his right, which was my left. "Bye, new found allies!" and with that, I rushed out and went back to the graystone and continued my endless journey.
6:42 PM 12/18/2016
This is Gretel Darkness,
6:43 PM 12/18/2016
I will be back, to my life of help, but just no p, and two2 l's
4:31 AM 12/18/2006
I smiled while Skylar walked up to Twilance. "Pony robots aren't that bad!"
I listened to her robotic voice, intrigued. "Have a fantasicalicous day!"
Chris giggled and nudged my side playfully. "Isn't this exciting, Gret?" I looked at Chrome Pony and answered, "Yeah, but I still love the original robot resturaunt. This is just really cool!" Skylar was jumping up and down with excitement. "Twilance, will you please shake my hoof?"
And Twilance did just that.
Ma had come in right at the very minute. "Fillies and colt! It's time to go home!" Skylar was disappointed. "Aww, I wanna stay some more!" Chris sighed with disapproval. "I wanted to stay for longer!" I looked at his yellow bat eyes. The two2 pegasi and I ran to Ma and she took us home.
Ma dropped Skylar and Chris at their homes. I sat on our couch, just chilling there. Liko just got back from playing at the park with his friends, Kya (CURE YAH) and Feril. (FAIR URL)
"Hey sis! How was Twilance and Chrome Pony's Entertainmemt?" he asked. Calmly, I answered, "It was fun... REALLY fun!" Liko sat next to me. "Gret, can we both promise to never leave one another?" I fell back in shock. "Of course! You're my brother, after all. And we're both the same!"
What I meant by same, was that he and I both had multiple forms and sides. No other pony was like us. No other pony is always
But it wasn't just Liko and me.
Opal, Ma, is the same.
But Gister, Fa, was nothing like us.
He wasn't family. He wasn't like us.
He doesn't know the feeling of pain every second of a pony's life. Only few mares and stallions are selected to be most powerful, but always
9:02 PM 12/18/2016
The thought of Liko made my eyes feel like crying. But I haven't cried in nine9 years, because Don't Cry always made sure I didn't cry. I'm not even sure if she has a name, but I called her Don't Cry. She haunted me once I was a year old.
Why am I crying of the thought of my only brother? Well, to put it simply
Liko Fackened Uicano Illusion is dead.
He died from his evil and good side. Those two2 were too much for him. He died when he was six6.
Meaning he didn't keep his promise.
Opal? She is still alive somewhere. I can feel her presance on this earth. She is why I haven't gone iNSaNiTY.
Gister? I murdered him after Liko died. To make myself feel better.
I bet you're wondering why Liko's lastname is different to the one I have now.
9:09 PM 12/18/2016
Liko Fackened Uicano Illusion.
Gretel iNSaNiTY Anarchy Darkness.
I changed my name. To fit my depression. My name was
Gretel Yx Quisla Illusion.
I was pretty much ready to die when Liko died. He was the only pony who could make me happy. But Opal convinced me to stay. I'm not the only one1 who's DYING INSIDE.
There was also another stallion, Antagananoid, Antogoid, Anto, who made me happy. He was concerned for my well being. I have no clue where he or Ma is. Duotsan did care... Somewhat. I mean, I saved him from an encounter with Funtim Faxy. He saved me from Pinkie Fazpie, who is wandering the city somewhere.
I had traveled with him for awhile. But we had partways when Psycho Wizzcore and Psycho Fire Sparkle had chased us.
4:16 AM 5/22/2013
Duotsan cocked his head to the side. "This world is pretty strange and dangerous. Just so much happens, you know?" I looked ahead of us before I got a chance to reply. It was Cheerilee. "Help! Somepony!" she cried. Cheerilee was lying on the graystone, with a knife stuck inside her back left foreleg. "I think Solid has been here," Duotsan precautioned. I flipped my ears back. "I sure hope she has left. Or we're dead!"
We ran to Cheerilee, who was in pain on the graystone. "Gr... Ms. Darkness... Duotsan... Help.... P-Please...." I felt her heartbeat. "How are we supposed to help, might I ask?" Duotsan looked at me. "Since your magic is strongest, use it to slowly take the knife out. Then we can patch it up with sine bandages I have in my bag," he said, and used his magic to pick out a medkit. I focussed myself.
"With the power of the dead,
And the strength of the living,
Combined with my souless magic,
Give me the power I need to help my intentions!" I don't have to chant. But doing it can give my magic more power.
Then I used my purple aura and took out the knife, slowly and carefully. "Ow.. Oww... Help...." Cheerilee groaned. I stopped a second. "If I take it out fast, it won't hurt as much."
"Then do it.. Ugh... I'm ready..." she was being brave about this.
I took it out. "AHHHHHH!!!!!!" Cheerilee screamed in agony. Duotsan quickly starting patching the wound. I sat her up, sitting against the wall. "Mind telling us what happened to you?" I asked. She groaned more. "Well... I was trying to find somepony or like some sort of camp with survivors of the apocalyspe... But then, somepony came from beind me and stabbed my leg. I immediately fell. The pony started dragging me into this crack between the buidlings, but then Rainbow Dash and Daring Do came and drove the pony away. They forgot about me, they were both too busy trying to scare whoever that was away."
I was surprised and asked, "Wait, Dash isn't infected?" This is how I knew she wasn't insane. Cheerilee's face looked as if she thought that was something stupid to say. "Of course she is! You really think Rainbow Dash would go insane that easily?" And I reply with, "Well... I went insane when Liko.... died. I've been insane my whole life! I'm not like anypony else!"
"I think we should get going, Gretel. We need to find all the others," Duotsan encouraged. "Okay. By the way, Cheerilee, never let your guard down. I'm almost positive Solid Sparkle was the one1 who was trying to murder you," I said after.
9:49 PM 12/18/2016
I'm now wallking through this huge city once more. We're all in this same place. Chrysalis, the Changling Queen, had put a forcefield around this giant city. She's been keeping all the infected here. Including the not infected, aswell. This has been going on for three3 years. And I will get us out. Somenight....
9:54 PM 12/18/2016
This is Gretel Darkness,
9:55 PM 12/18/2016
I will be back, to my life of help, but just no p, and two2 l's
12:41 PM 12/19/2016
I decided to fly up for once. I have wings yet I don't use them often. I caught the glimpse of a fast, flying rainbow. "Who's there?" I asked, yet you and I both know who it was.
Rainbow Dash.
"Huh? Oh, hi there!" She came back and looked at me with her flapping pegasi wings. Daring Do came too.
"Are you okay? You look like The Infected. We don't want to die," Daring Do said. I cocked my head. "I'm imune."
They both stared at me, with surprised faces. "What?! How?" With a sigh, I reply with, "I've always been insane. This is no difference."
"We're trying to find as many Sane as possible and bringing them all to our safe camp. This city is just so huge!" Dash explained. I don't reply with much. Just a whisper. "Haven't you realized our lives are all DOOMED? Chrysalis is going to set a bomb off here, and then we'll all die. All but me, Opal, and Anto." Daring Do moved her hoof up in question. "Why just three3 survivors? How do you knwo all this? What is even your name?" I sighed again. "Gretel Darkness. Only those three3 will be within the safety of my soulless magic. My life has always been horrible. And I'm not letting anypony ruin it like what happened four4 years ago! How? You ask? How? HOW? Try asking 'why' for once. Then maybe you'll understand."
Dash and Daring looked at eachother. I give no mercy with words.
"Come to our camp. It's a lot safer than out here where you could easily get infected. Like..." Dash paused. I saw one1 small, slender tear fall down her cheek.
It made sense.
I knew the feeling.
The feeling of your friends/family being gone forever.
1:03 PM 12/19/2016
I decided to go with them. Only because maybe Opal or Anto would be there. I mean, Anto would probably go there. But Opal?
Nah, I know her too well.
She, I, and Liko, we're all the exact same. We would choose the same things.
Once I'd arrived, there wass no sign of Opal, like I'd expected. But Duotsan is here. "Gretel?" he asked in surprise. "I thought you would've died by now from yourself." I still have my spirit in me. "I'm going to leave this city."
"Have you seen Anto?" I asked Duotsan. "No, unfortunatly. But I saw your mother. She didn't believe me when I said I'd seen you. She thought I was like, some sort of pony from an evil organisation, trying to fool her. You wouldn't believe how different she looked from when I saw her first with you," he told me. This is great. I thought to myself. Us evil, insane, psycopath, crazy killers would be united.
"Where did all the others go? I sure as help hope they're not infected!" Duotsan had a sad expression on his face. "I do, too. I do, too."
But then Daring Do came in a rush. "We need help right away! Two2 pegasuses are hurt!" Duotsan quickly hurried out as Daring Do carried him. "Anypony else?"
Flitter and Cloud Chaser flew, carrying a unicorn and an earth pony.
I came, too.
2:26 PM 12/19/2016
When we reached the destination where help was needed, I was in shock and glory.
The two2 pegasi just happened to be
my old friends
Skylar Langislet & Chris Gakke.
Chris had a knife in his back left foreleg, like Cheerilee did three3 years ago. Skylar had her front right foreleg's bone relocated in the wrong spot. "Help... Please..."
The didn't notice me.
I can understand. If I was in pain, I'd just focus on being alive and not who helped me.
Duotsan looked at Chris. "I've handled this situation before. Gretel?" He was hinting at the time when I had took a knife out of Cheerilee's back left foreleg. So I did what I did back then. "Chris, be ready. This might hurt a bit. But it'll be less pain." He moaned, with a slender tear come down his cheek, like Dash did awhile ago.
"Okay... Do it..." Chris said regretfully. I pulled it out, real fast. "OOOOWWWWW!" he hollered. "Shh! Please keep your voice down! Don't attract The Infected!" Dash warned. The unicorn and earth pony started patching Chris's leg up immediatly. Skylar looked at me. "Gr-Gretel? Please... Fix me..." Skylar would be much harder to deal with. But little did I know, my magic is much stronger than I originally thought.
My healing magic enagaged at that very minute. My light side was kicking in to help now. My purple aura moved Skylar's bones and then fixed them in ten10 seconds. "H-How...?" she questioned, then she got up, perfectly fine. "You saved me, Gretel!" Chris smiled as Skylar was hugging me. "You know eachother?" Daring Do questioned.
"Fillyhood friends," we both replied. "Colthood friends, too," Chris added.
2:47 PM 12/19/2016
We healed Chris up and flew back, them and I catching up, of course.
"How's life been for you?" Skylar asked. "Did you ever think of us?" Chris asked. "Yes... I did... Skylar, you forgot again," I answered. "Wh- Oh. Thaaaat. How am I supposed to make a question relating to that with 'Why' in it?"
I had to tell Daring Do and Rainbow Dash this now. "I'm going once we reach the camp."
Surprised, Dash asked, "Why? It's safer!" Duotsan wasn't surprised. Frankly, he was the exacy opposite of surprised. "Of course. That's the Gretel I know." Daring Do was as surprised as Dash. "You could die!"
I've alreay died, Daring Do.
I've been dead this whole time.
Haven't you realized?
"I will not rest until I find my mother!" I shouted, getting the attention of some infected.
Without thinking, I flew the opposite direction of the camp. I didn't know what was going on behind me, at all.
2:58 PM 12/19/2016
I reached some graystone, faraway from the camp. Just when I thought Iwas alone once more, Duotsan's voice came from behind me.
"Hold up, Gret!"
I turned. Skylar, Chris and Duotsan were there. "We're not letting you go alone... Again," Skylar said.
Then I felt a strike of pain to my back left foreleg.
Skylar, Chris, and Duotsan all shouted at the same time who that pony was.
3:03 PM 12/19/2016
This is Gretel Darkness,
3:03 PM 12/19/2016
I will be back, to my life of help, but just no p, and two2 l's
12:42 PM 12/20/2016
Mana looked sort of like to Skylar, but not quite. Mana took the knife out, hurting me again. "Skyla?" Skylar sighed and facepalmed. "It's Skylar, not Skyla!" Duotsan got his magic ready. Mana backed away, while I tried to get up. "I know what it feels like," Chris tried to cheer me up.
Can one1 really cheer someopny up if they just felt a knife go through their leg?
Duotsan patched the injury up. Mana's eyes were light blue, the back being white, like most normal ponies, but the puils being like a batpony's, like Chris's yellow eyes. She was a Fight of Justice, but she got infected, unfortunaetly. Along with two2 other Fighters of Justice.
What a shame.
"Y-You know this dark, evil, dispicable, and stupid mare?" Mana insulted. I glared at her. "So what if I'm evil and dark? You're the infected, here." Her bat eyes grew thinner. "I'm not infected. I am. Insane," she told me. "I wish you were dead," she added.
With a bandage on my leg, keeping the blood inside me, I stood up. "Gretel?" Skylar was concerned for this horriible mare that is me. I closed my eyes a second. When they opened, The right side was black. The left side was white. I flew up, without even knowing what I was doing. My horn got stuck on a telephone wire. I heard Chris and Skylar's wings flap behind me. "Gretel! Stop! Control it! Fight back! Fight the twi2 sides! Win the war! Gretel!" They both called.
Then I blacked out.
5:49 PM 12/20/2016
I woke up in a room with gray walls. My vision was blurry. I heard some hoofsteps in the neary hallway.
The minute I saw the stallion, my heart was filled with hope.
It was him.
The other stallion that could SAVE....ME....FROM...MYSELF....
"Anto?!" I cried out in surprise, my voice cracking. "You finally woke up. Is your head okay?" he asked. I looked at my body. The bandage on my leg was gone, replaced with my gray skin. "My head feels... Crazy..." I said quietly, trying to not hurt my voice.
"So you're still Gretel Illusion?" Antogoid questioned. I glared at Anto, my anger boiling in my soul.
"I, am NOT Illusion no more! Didn't I tell you? I. AM. GRETEL. DARKNESS!!!" I yelled, my voice perfectly fine.
Duotsan, Skylar, and Chris all heard it and came beside Anto. "I really hope Mana didn't infect her..." Skylar said with a concerned look.
How could they betray me?
Didn't they know who I was and still am?
Why do they keep forgetting?
They're idiots!
6:00 PM 12/20/2016
"Where am I?" I asked, trying to change the subject. "Inside the cellar of the jail," Chris explained. "Why?" The word I seem to use every time I can came out of my mouth that second.
"We don't want you getting yourself killed out there. There's still a lot to life you need to experience. You're our friend, Gretel," Anto said. Anger and worry in my voice, I said, "Are you going to keep me in here for the rest of the apocalyspe??"
They all looked at each other.
But before I let them sanswer, I teleported out.
No pony is keeping this mare contained!
6:10 PM 12/20/2016
I went to a random location, which was on the graystone. The place looked so familiar to me. It looked like the one1 that I came on when I left Chrome Pony.
It was the same place.
I dashed into the building where Chrome Pony was. I came to the never seeming to end hallway and eventually found Chrome Pony again. She was lying there on the floor, lifeless. Her blood was everywhere. It was scattered.
I guess she either committed suicide, or somepony came and finished her off.
And that somepony got on top of me, putting an ax to my throat.
6:19 PM 12/20/2016
This is Ms. Darkness,
6:20 PM 12/20/2016
I will be back, to my life of help, but just no p, and two2 l's
10:10 PM 12/26/2016
I have been called the 'Darkened Goddess'. Darkened has two2 meanings. One1 is Night or Darkness. The other means
So whenever there's a murder, when nopony knew the killer yet, the police would call them the Darkened. Some prefer to say 'Blackened' instead. I prefer Darkened.
10:14 PM 12/26/2016
I was knocked out for awhile. When I awoke, Solid Sparkle had me hanging inside of a building. A rope was tied to my horn and my wings, holding them in place aswell has making me immobolized. I was connected to the ceiling.
10:16 PM 12/26/2016
"Morning, Darkened," Solid greeted. I stared at her. "My name is Gretel, thank you." She didn't look like she cared at all for that sentence, and just carried on. "You're in my humble abode. I really like you, Darkened Goddess. I like that title. I've always wanted it to be my title... Oh, everypony would start to pay attention to ME instead of that horrifically defformed, demon mare..." Solid looked thougyhtful. "Darkened, how about we make a deal?" she asked me. With more glares I answered with, "You want a deal, then untie me from the ceiling. Then I'll see."
10:23 PM 12/26/2016
"I'm afraid I can't do that. If I let you down, you could teleport and escape from me. And I can't trust you yet to not make that decision. Are you okay with that?" Solid answered me, along with another question. Before answering, I looked about the room I was currently located in. The walls were gray brick, not too facinating. The room was dark. It smelt of blood and cement. Blech! The horrid smell!
10:28 PM 12/26/2016
There were red lights on the ceiling, but around me there was a whitish grayish light. In a corner of the room, there was a saw, hanging from gray brick lower than the actual ceiling itself. There were pony skulls on one1 little area of the walls. I noticed there was a door in a corner. It was closed and had a sign saying
"Fine. Just make sure you let me live," I replied back. "Oh, I wouldn't even THINK of killing you. You're very special, Darkened. You need ti remember that fact." Solid kept walking around the room, gesturing with her hooves when she spoke. Of course, I had nothing to really do. Speaking of which, what even CAN you do from the ceiling when you're a pony?
Don't think I don't know of other beings on this planet of ours.
Never assume things.
Or it will end horrifically.
10:36 PM 12/26/2016
"Who's the mare you hate so much?" I asked. "The only one1 of the Mane Six6 who hasn't gone iNSaNiTY." Right then, I knew who she was talking about.
Rainbow Dash.
"Why Dash?" I asked another question. "Because she thinks she's si cool, when I'M supposed to be the mane pony here..."
"My turn for questions. Ehem, how even DID you get the title Darkened Goddess in the first place? Darkened, you're a valuable mare in this posistion. You're very crucial for getting out of this city, even if you may not even know it," Solid stated and asked.
Now that's multi tasking.
Then came for me to reply. "I got it for the killings I committed. They called me Darkened and not Blackened because I said Darkened. The other reason was because I acted nocturnal. Nopony knew why. It's because I love the night. The dark hours are so peaceful to me..." I didn't bother saying anything about how crucial Solid said I was for getting out. It'd just make it harder for me to write later!
10:51 PM 12/26/2016
"I see... Darkened, I need you to shut up for a bit. If she knows you're in here, she'll kill me in cold blood. Please, for my life's sake," Solid cautioned. I agreed to it with a nod. I let Solid hide me underneath towels that were supposedly used to clean up murder messes. I looked through a little window hole thingy.
10:58 PM 12/26/2016
I heard hoofsteps come from the door I saw earilier. Then a mare with Vinyl's mane and Twilight's tail busted through. My eyes opened wide, with surprisement and glory.
I had the urge to bust out of the towels and hug her to death. But I didn't. Why? Because Ma looked horrible. Absolutely horrific.
Her mane was all messy and bloody. Her eyes were empty. When I looked at them, it was like there was no soul in her head at all. The tip of her horn was cut off. Some hair off her tail was missing. She had scratches and blood all over her body. Her dark blue coat looked almost completely black. She had am alicorn wing taped to her back. It was a blue wing, sort of like Ma's coat before the infection.
"Solid, have you gotten anything done within this timespan?" Ma aske Solid. Solid grabbed a knife with her magic and examined it. "I saw Mana stab Gretel. She's not dead, but out here somewhere, Opal." Her eyes opened wide and not blank and lowered. "Gr... My daughter is still ALIVE?????!!!!!!!! She can survive this apocalyspe?! I guess I shouldn't be surprised... She is me, after all. We're both one1 and the same..." Ma sighed with relief.
She smiled.
"Funny. I haven't seen you smile at all until just now," Solid pointed out. Ma looked around the room, as if Solid was hiding something.
Which she was.
11:23 PM 12/26/2016
"Where is my little Darkened Goddess now? Which way did she go?" Ma asked, walking around. "Darkened- Gretel, teleported somewhere. I haven't seen her since Chris, Skylar, and Duotsan took her somewhere. I have no clue.. Sorry....." There was a long silence between them. Ma looked at the ropes that had held me up at the ceiling. Ma is pretty observant. She'll find me at some point. I just know it.
"Fillynapping somepony, eh?" Ma said. "Where'd they go now? Dead?" Solid was getting nervous. I could tell by the way she was acting. "Y-Yeah.. No need to worry, Opal..." Solid gave a quick glance at me while Ma was examining the ropes carefully. "What are you hiding from me, Solid Sparkle? Spit it out before I search this whole room," Ma questioned, getting very suspicious.
Solid didn't answer. So doing as she said, Ma looked at every corner and every possible hiding spot. But when she uncovered the towels, there I was. Just lying there, staring back at Ma. "Hi?" I said awkwardly. "How long have you been here, darling?" Ma asked, and hugged me full strength. "You have no idea how long I've been looking for you... I almost gave up, but my horn told me you were somewhere around here. I love you, oh so much, Gretel dear. You're the only family I have left...."
11:42 PM 12/26/2016
"I... I love you too, Opal..." She gave me a kiss on my forehead. "Why don't we go give Solid a piece of our pain?" I smirked towards Solid. "Great idea, Ma."
Solid tried running, but with my magic, I held her in the air. "Why don't you do the honnors, Ma?" I suggested. So Ma used her blue ax and axed Solid one1 last question. "Did you enjoy this life?"
"Help no." I let go of Solid, allowing her to teleport. "Why did you do that, darling?" Ma asked me. "Because I still have nice in me. You've pretty much lost it completely, haven't you?" I looked at her. "Yes... Light Opal failed... Now I'm just whatever Shadow Opal wants me to be..."
Ma and I ran to the source of that call.
12:00 PM 12/27/2016
12:03 PM 12/27/2016
This is Gretel Darkness & Opal nesskraD
12:04 PM 12/27/2016
We'll be back to our life of help, but just no p and two2 l's
2:50 PM 9/12/2011
I smiled at Myicanna (ME EE CAN UH) as she licked my nose. The bat mare flew up, and gestured to play tug of war with a string.
"A sturdy string, not just a string, Gretel!" she yelled at me when I had said, "You want to play tug of war with just a string?"
I used my magic and took her witch hat off. "Hey!" I smirked and toyed with her, moving the hat about. "Oh, I'm gonna get you for this!" Myi yelled, and tackled me, forcing me to let go of the hat.
"Oh, Myi... You silly filly," I said to her, as she got up. "Hmph. Man, I wish there was a bat pony with a horn... What would you call that? A batcorn? An alibat?" I giggled at the funny names she came up with. "Myi! Gret! Supper's ready!" Liko hollered. "Last one1 there is a dead pody!" Myi shouted, being a silly filly, like normal.
3:01 AM 12/29/2016
I awoke, losing the memory of Myicanna and hearing the horrid sounds of beasts in cells. The sewers are no place to be messed with.
Ma was observing the area, paying attention to see if there were any dead bodies. Ma looked at a rotting corpse of a mare.
"Hmm..." she wondered aloud, picking at the body and looking at it. "Anything, Opal?" I asked her. "No, crazyheart. This is just some mare who used to live here. No resenblance of any of your 'friends'," Ma replied, spreading some dead flesh on her body. She called me 'crazyheart' because she's insane now, Light Opal is dead pretty much. So instead of 'sweetheart' it's 'crazyheart'.
I heard a roar. A gray beast like creature with bloodlust in his eyes emerged from the wall, making the walls and ceiling start to collaspe.
3:08 AM 12/29/2016
What happened before, Gretel? Why are you in a sewer now? You ask?
Well, let me just give you a quick recap of what had happened.
Ma and I went to the caller, it was Anto and Duotsan. They both looked at Ma and backed away... Seven7 steps.
I told them that Ma was fine, but they wanted to run a test to make sure she was still sane.
They immdiately found out when Opal shouted so loud
They got their guns out and held Ma at gun point. I told them she was fine, but they wouldn't believe me after that speech. Ma told me to say goodbye, but I wouldn't let my mother die that fast after we reunited!
So I teleported to the least likely place they would search.
The Sewer System.
3:14 AM 12/29/2016
The beast roared furiously and started breaking the entire place. I thought we were as good as dead until
Myicanna Kiu, the Bat Princess, came in and martical art-ed that dragon!
"Myi?!" I yelled with surprise and happiness. "Yes, Gretel ol' chum?" Myi answered, giving me a brohoof. "Like my new skills?"
She didn't notice Ma until I said "I found Opal again."
Myi looked confused. "Found again? When did you lose her?" she asked. I thought she was stupid, being in the middle of all this. "Surely you know what is happening on land, right?" I asked. "Oh. Right..." Myi paused.
Her curly tail, Rarity's tail, was gone. It was stumpy, all gone. The bat mare noticed I was looking at her tail, and flicked her head sharply. "Ignore that."
Ma wasn't caring for Myicanna at all. She just looked at the dead body on the sewer floor.
Don't even bother asking me why there was a beast in the sewers. These ponyfolk must've had real issuses.
11:54 PM 12/30/2016
I had to rest, so Ma and Myi stopped. Ma wasn't going anywhere without me.
"I believe Jil is in the sewers too. We had been traveling together, until Insane Fire Sparkle shot Jil's leg. I remember her falling down on the graystome, helpless and confused. We had been ambushed. Jil's wings had been torn off by Insane Pinkie," Myicanna explained. I looked up at Myi, and cocked my head. "Is Jil still... Sort of sane?"
Myi lay on the sewer floor, gazing down at the green, litered water, with a thirsty gaze, and replied, "Jil wasn't talking to me, at all, really. She just went mute after we part ways with you. I mean, out there, it's hard, you know?" Myi glanced at Ma, who was listening to us talk. "What happened to Opal?" she asked me. "Well... She's kind of... Lost it... Light Opal failed, so now she is whoever Shadow Opal wants her to be," I replied.
My vision became blurry. I couldn't see, static was in my way.
It was happening again.
11:55 PM 12/31/2016
I felt pain in the back of my head, whilst watching my two2 sides battle.
Light Gretel, completely white, soared in the empty blue room. You couldn't see the corners inside. Shadow Gretel, completely black, pounced at her, biting her neck quickly. Shadow hissed, like a bat pony. "Light, go ahead and give, UP!!!!!!" she yowled and grabbed the purple ax in the room, that is Ma's. Light flinched and was breathing heavily. "Shadow... I can't let her go insane with Opal, I can't let her die with Liko, I can't let her be haunted by Don't Cry, and I CAN'T LOSE!!!!!!!!!!" There was so much amger and fury in Light's voice.
I'm starting to think SHE'S gone insane.
Light charged at Shadow, tossing her up in the air. I was feeling the pain of both of them. "STOP!!" I tried yelling as loud as I could, but it was no use. They couldn't hear me. They could only hear my thoughts.
Light hesitated a second. "Gretel... She doesn't want us to fight, yet we can't stop... Why... Why... WHY??!!!?!?!?!?" Light couldn't take it anymore, and fell on the ground, Shadow smirked and swung the ax over Light's head, with the last words she would hear. "iNSaNiTY always WINS."
Light fell limp, her soul now free.
I stared, traumatized. Does this mean I'll go insane now? Is this the end of nice, happy me?
12:01 AM 1/1/2017
I woke up seeing Ma's worried face, yelling at me, "GRETEL! ARE YOU OKAY??!!!!!"
I opened my eyes wide and noticed Myicanna was there, looking at me with concern. "Oh, thank god you're alive!"
I was still in the sewers.
Still in pain.
Ma hugged me tightly. "Oh my god, am I happy you're still sane..." I looked at her, and made a face that said, "It's... The opposite of that." Ma started crying. "Why? Why, did she have to feel pain? My only daughter? My only alive filly? Why, her? Why, The Shadow, WHY???!!!!!!!!" Ma sat on the sewer floor, putting her hooves to her head, in pain and terror.
12:10 AM 1/1/2017
The Shadow is who we call the one1 who gave me, Liko, and Opal two2 sides, unlike normal ponies. And now...
Liko suffered because of that.
Opal went insane because of her sides.
Now I've lost it.
The white in my mane started turning black, whilst my gray coat got more darker.
6:46 PM 1/4/2017
This is Gretel Darkness & Opal nessraD
6:47 PM 1/4/2017
We will be back to our life of help, but just no p and two2 l's
8:17 PM 1/5/2017
My heart is racing now, while he terrorizes me. My original soul is flying away now. I can feel... The hatred is boiling up inside me.
Why is he doing this to my small, delicate, young soul?
"I... Don't... Feel... Anything... Different..." I mumbled to them. Myi stared at me, terrorfied. Ma cried and cried, oh so many tears.
Breaking the promise she made to Don't Cry, like Liko and I did.
I felt... Power, inside, it wasn't pain... At all...
"Oh Gretel Illusion... Oh, did I make you angry? I mean, Gretel Darkness... You're much different from Liko and Opal. Liko couldn't handle it, and Opal... Her light side failed, she'll be dying with Liko ver soon. Gretel, you are going to help me, take control and vengeance. My brother is gone, just like yours. And the whole purpose of me ruining you three3 was to find him... Just like Dont Cry, I ruined her too. We can get in to more detail in person," A voice said in my head. I knew. It was
I couldn't understand anything. All I know is that this is the end. I don't know. "Hel...p....M....e....Ma...." I said lastly, before I left them.
8:47 PM 1/5/2017
The next thing I knew was that I was in a black room, just blackness, with a light shining down on me, and on a fancy chair, was him, with a calm smirk on his face.
"Welcome, Gretel, the survivor of my experiment," he said, staring at me, with my face of hopelessness and confusion. I couldn't even talk. His mane was adventurous/Lyra's. His tail was Vinyl's/radical.
An indescribable mare was in a cage beside him. "Are you who I think you are...?" I asked the stallion who was black and white, just like I was. "Me? Oh, Gretel, don't be stupid. You know who I am. Oops, I should refer to a mare properly, excuse me, Ms. Darkness," he said. "You're... The Shadow," I cleared that.
The stallion right in front of me was the one1 who made me so scared and horrible. The Shadow...
"I bet you're wondering who this little guest I have is. Well, he make look like a mare, but he is a stallion, through and through," The Shadow said, gesturing towards the caged... pony. I didn't know what to call him.
But that got answered very soon.
9:52 PM 1/5/2017
"I am not a stallion, or a mare," he said. Whoever the black red, caged pony was, looked at me, his tiny pupils starting to creep me out. He was an alicorn. 'He' had the voice of a stallion. But I doubt that's what he really is...
"I am an it, but some call me a he. I don't care what you call me, anyway. Other than-" he was cut off by The Shadow saying, "Stop talking, Think Twice. Oh, Gretel, his name is Think Twice. You know, how Don't Cry also doesn't have a real name, right? Think Twice here is just like Don't Cry. He does what his name is exactly."
Think Twice gave The Shadow a long glare, and tried breaking out, jumping around the tiny cage, his horn hitting the cage bars and making a SLASH THUNK sound. Wow what a big sentence. XD
"Stop trying to break free, monster. You were born like this, so you can't change. I gave Don't Cry that horror, so I can make her be free any moment. You shall be my loyal pet now, as for your sister, she is clearly dead. I know that for a fact," The Shadow said, looking at him with an evil smirk.
10:09 PM 1/5/2017
And just then, as if she knew, Don't Cry, the alicorn mare with a high voice, flew in and picked up the cage, and flew away into blackness. "Anyway, Gretel, you are going to make me so happy with your ability to hold on to dear life. My brother will be found, and safe with me again," Shadow said, looking at me.
I thought he was stupid. He wasn't even caring that Don't Cry took his hostage.
What is wrong with this stallion?
The second I opened my mouth, Don't Cry and Think Twice both fell from the sky in cages.
"What?!" I yelled in surprise, looking at Shadow. I also noticed I was back to normal, the gray, black, and white mare I had come to know so well. "You seem surprised. Do you even know how much power I have?" Shadow asked.
10:37 PM 1/5/2017
"What is your name?" I asked boldly. The Shadow laughed. "My name.... You really wish to know? Ha. Well..."
10:45 PM 1/5/2017
1:48 AM 1/8/2017
"I am Gretel, Ms. Darkness. My name is Gretel, also. Now can you see why I never told you?" The Shadow, or Gretel, said. "I am Gretel V. Gretel Visasus."
I looked at him, then I looked at Don't Cry, who had been my friend and foe. My head was clustered with confusion and hatred.
I stood up, letting my wings unfold, with my eyes closed. Gretel V. watched me and smirked. "Go ahead, I am invulnerable to your hatred. I know, you hate me unbelieveably. Which you shouldn't, because I want to help."
When I opened my eyes, my entire left eye was white, while my right eye was black.
My left wing turned white, then my right wing turned black.
I felt... So wonderous... With so much....
1:56 AM 1/8/2017
FREAKING. DAAAARRRRKKKNESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I yelled, then without thinking, I charged at Gretel V., and tried stabbing him with my horn. I thought this would be it.
If I go down, I'm taking the being who ruined my life with me!
Even without a horn, he teleported away from me, as I kept trying to win against him. "Ah, your rage is truly maginificent, Gretel. I love playing a game of teleport away from the MURDERER," Gretel V. said to me, laughing.
What does he think of this?
What, a game?
But, no.
2:03 AM 1/8/2017
I felt his magic trying to hold me back, as he laughed at me. "Gretel, dear! Kill him! He deserves to die for what he's done to us!" Don't Cry encouraged. Think Twice just stared. "I don't care. I have no purpose. Do what you like," he said, being totally helpful, as always.  >:(
I didn't know what I was doing, as I kept charging at Gretel V.
Then I felt somepony touch my wing. I turned, and then I saw Darkness Blue, an assasin and secret agent, staring at me. "Gretel, there is no need to harm him. He's just helping everypony, by killing all the insane ponies. You were going to go insane anyways, Gretel. He saved you from ending up like The Infected. You should thank him, let alone murder him. Well, I suppose there's no changing the mind of a born killer, right G.V.?"
"MY HEAD HURTS," I said, my eyes still white and black. "EVERYTHING HURTS. I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY AGAIN...."
And then I blacked out from exhaustion.
Going into my full form takes up my energy.
7:12 AM 1/8/2017
I woke up in Solid's torture chamber, but Twilight was the mare loking down at me. Anto and Duotsan were also looking at me.
"Y-You okay?" I heard a familiar voice. Very familiar, indeed.
It was Fluttershy, or Flutters, as my nickname for her. "How long will she keep sleeping?" I heard Rainbow Dash say. "Oh. Sheeee... Don't try killing her. Gretzel here will always fight back," I heard Pinkamena say.
"Wh... Am... I alive?" I asked, my eyes hardly open. "Oh, the scary mare is awake now!" When I sat up, I saw Pinkie Pie and not Pinkamena. Fluttershy was normal, all legs intact, surprisinly. "What... Did he do?" I asked. Pinkie giggled. "Oh, now you have no idea what you're talking about, Gretzel," she said. I sighed. She still hasn't gotten my name right. I had A LOT of explaining to do. "It's Gretel, Pinkamena," I corrected. "Excuse me, but do I LOOK like a murderer NOW?" Pinkie said back.
6:22 PM 1/8/2017
I told Dashie, Flutters, Pinkie, and Twilight everything that happened... There...
After I was done explaining, I finally came to ask, "Where is Opal?"
No answer.
"Where is Opal?" I asked again.
No answer.
"Where. Is. My. Mother?" I asked a third time.
Twilight was the one1 to answer me. "Uh... Opal is..." My eyes widened, as I put my face close to Twilight's. "Don't tell me." It couldn't happen. Opal couldn't go insane. Her sanity wouldn't die off. I won't have it. No.
Myicanna came through the door that now says "GOODBYE, INFECTED!", and answered me. "She's dead, unfortunately. And What exactly are you gonna do about it?"
Myicanna had no idea how hurting those words were to my heart, how painful I felt. This... Monster was eating me from inside.... And all I want is to just be free...
7:20 AM 1/9/2017
"N-No... T-T-T-This isn't h-h-happening..... No..... No, this isn't....."
I cried...
This life I live, is painfully freakin painful.... I felt tears come down my blue headed cheek. Being free isn't my main concern anymore.
If I die,
I am taking that stallion,
Gretel Viasus,
down with me.
7:27 AM 1/9/2017
I have nopony. So all my happiness has left, in order to stay intact. Now it's all up to my body and Shadow Gretel.
"Why... Why us? What did we do? Why Liko, Gretel, and Opal? What, in all the world, did we do to deserve any of this? WHY?!" I cried out, the pain neverending. Twilight tried to stop me with her magic, but my rage was and is too powerful.
The next thing I knew, I left them. So I could take a second to think about all that had just happened. Time certainly passed.
7:40 PM 1/9/2017
But for now, I'm going to have to stop writing. You can know I survived by finding one1 of my notes, by the way. At some point I'll get someone to make a note about what had happened to me. So, this will end for a bit. Goodbye, Striker.  ;)
-Gretel Darkness