Pinecone

Me: planning a busy day of catching up on things I need to cross of my dordie list.

Big red tail hawk swooping down and flying over the car this morning: you are needed else where today

Me: I've got places to be, things to do. Ignores the call.

(a few blocks later)

Big crow swoops down and flies over the car: you are being called, listen.

Me: sets my list aside and picks up my lantern. 

...Holds it up....

Stills my heart and shuts my eyes.

Be aware I am a  reluctant guardian . I am no magical being...I am just a fellow traveler, on the path with you. I am lost in the dark forest with you, I am just further down the trail.

While I am mostly made of stone. This old guardian still refuses to obey and be still. I slowly climb down from my stone pedestal. My crumbly joints grind as my stones shift. My lantern light wobbles and sways and paws at the darkness around me.

one,

two steps

I take before the stones slid off  and I am there vulnerable and old. I don't run so fast any longer. I am coming, I will find you.

I know there is no light where you are now, so I blow out my lantern.

I can hear the red tears. I know they're there, I know they are saying all the things you cannot.

I head in that direction.

Its not long before I stumble and crash hard to my knees. I touch the rich earth and still my heart again. 

I know it's close. I spread out my hands and begin feeling for it. It doesn't take long.

the forest floor abruptly ends and a crumbling edge falls off into even deeper darkness.

I take a deep breath and pull myself in.

The roots and rocks grab at me as I fall in.

With a dusty thud I land next to you.

I sit up and wait until the last of the disturbed ground stops plinking down on my head.

"Why did you come?" you ask.

"Because, no one came for me. I know what is like to be hurting and alone."

*scratch*

the teeny match flame add little light to the dark hole. I set it to the lantern wick.

In the pale light I hold out my hand.

"How did you know where I was?" you ask ignoring my extended hand.

"Been lost a time or two thousand my self. I know the feeling of being so alone that you think your a lost alien that doesn't belong on this planet. That your the last survivor of a ancient race that has died out. That your so invisible that no one sees you...most of all, I know how comforting pain can be. I've hidden more times then I can count in the pain."

I scoot the lantern closer to you.

" I feel..." your words falter, and you slid your face into the crook of your arm.

"Like life just kicked the shit outta you again?"

I see your head bob slightly.

"Do you know what to do when your on the ground?"

Your eyes peak up over your arm.

"You have two choices. You get up. Or you grow roots. Some of us are walkers, some of us are flyers, some of us are swimmers, some of us are one leggeds."

Your eyebrows question  me.

"One leggeds are trees. They only have one leg."

Your face appears, "Are you saying I am a tree? I should grow roots?"

"You are a pine cone. Young and on a journey. Your mother tree dropped you from her branches like a grenade. Life kicked you around and stomped on you and tries to crush you, but you have held onto your seeds and spikes. Everyone may over look you laying there on the ground, not realizing the power you have. The strength in your form and the magic you hold."

"Magic?" You interrupt.

"Little one, you have a whole forest in you. Your a portable magic grenade just waiting to deploy your seeds and take root. Your not suppose to fit in by conforming...your suppose to grow your own beautiful motherfuckin forest so others can come to it."

You reach out and take my hand. "how do I do that?"

I squeeze your hand. "All seeds need water." I touch your torn up skin. "start with never apologizing for surviving. For doing what you have to do to keep living." 

I let go of your hand, and you feel a weight still and look down. You have a lantern in your hand. Its little flame is dancing.

I reach over and again touch your torn up skin. "Put this in your heart and pound it into your head....your not crazy for doing this...your just in pain."

"So much shit raining down on me..." you sob.

I  turn and begin to claw my way out of the hole. Once out I learn back over and say softly. "Change how you see things. Your a pinecone. It's not a shit storm...its fertilizer. Use it to grow."

You smile through the tears.

"Not tears, welcomed water. You have a journey before you, but I promise one day my little pinecone, your beautiful canopy will sway in the wind as the sun kisses you and so many will cherish the life you give... Incase no one told you, all one leggeds begin their journeys in the darkness struggling to reach the sunlight."