Monday, September 7, 2015

Visual landmind - trigger

Ooooh. ouch. Or more accurately, impending future ouch.

Usually with my past I step on a landmind and BOOM it goes off.

I just had the weird the experience of seeing the landmind before I stepped on it.

I have never had this foresight before.

You can bet I stepped back and didn't step on this one.

Now that I know it is there, I wonder if I can de-trap it.

save me the pain

and devastation, that this big one is going to inflict someday.

I have figured over the years that this would eventually be a massive trigger point in my life, but that little glimpse into the depth of it brought up instant urges like.... their isn't enough silvadene and bandages in the world to deal with the burn I would inflict on my self.

Like, lock me up, cause the pain WILL cause me to kill my self in a huge raging pain storm.

I beat a hasty retreat from the photograph that caused this. I need to deal with this one. I can't just ignore it.

It is there and has been for 50 years, and when it triggers. and it will. I am going to get hurt.


really, really bad.

I have often wondered over the years, if I ever went back into therapy, what would be the driving force.

I don't have to wonder anymore.

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