Wednesday, September 13, 2017

When TOO ask about someones scars (SI discussion)

Good just can't please me sometimes.

I just posted about when its NOT okay to ask about someones scars and here I am writing the opposite today!

Was with one of the kids at an initial pediatrician visit and she pulled me aside to discuss my child's case.

As we were talking her eyes kept going to my scars then back to me.

It was distracting.

I really wanted to hold up my arm and say, "stop for a minute, look, satisfy your curiosity and them ask me about them so we can go back to our conversation, without distractions."

I don't normally wear long sleeves, that is a personal style choice, I have never really cared for them even before I had scars.  I have found as I have grown and am out doing things with my children (like face to face with teachers/doctors etc) I will consciously consider long sleeves or a sweatshirt to wear. Not to hide my scars, but to project and image that will protect my children from being subjected to "OOOOH, your mama is crazy, she's all scarred up!" Also from having to answer questions from their friends.

My battle with living with SIV (self inflicted violence) is not their fight.

My mission to be open about it also my decision, not theirs.

I do get gut pings when I choose to conceal them. Not sure why. I don't go around actively flaunting them. Honestly I forget there there most of the time. As I did that day I mentioned earlier.

It was the doctors looks that reminded me, 'oh hey, I'm covered in scars.'

Ack, I hadn't even remembered to think about covering them up for this appointment.

I think how I handled it was the right way to do it. I didn't address it. I kept the conversation on subject and ignored her glances. There is a right time to ask about scars, and that wasn't the situation.

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