I really, really need all this car accident stuff to go away.
I want a roll back and the server reset to May 11th.
I want a do over.
I want my life back.
I want the anxiety back under control and it to stop eating me alive.
I want to feel better.
I want the serenity back in my mind. I do not function well when there is more chaos in my life then in my head.
I really want to be done making calls, going places, seeing people.
I have been a horrible mother, cause I can't be present for my kids. I have to spend so much time keeping myself safe right now that I'm physically present but not mentally.
I need to focus on Hansolo's speech therapy stuff and read the IFSP and make sure its okay. But my brain can't focus.
I want to be able to drive to and from work without bawling my eyes out both ways.
I want to spend time with my husband, feels like I haven't seen him in ages.
I want to runaway and hide somewhere and cry till the pressure in my head cracks it open.
I want to sleep and sleep and sleep.
I want everyone to really see me, really see that I am not doing well at all here. (or anywhere for that matter)
I want to know that my arm is going to get better. Feels like we took a step back in physical therapy yesterday.
I want to have this sense of impending doom to go away.
I want to wake to no pain.
(Todays episode of "Anxiety Street" has been brought you by the letters P. T.S.D and the number 7734)