Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Secret Service games

Years ago when JUR was a small baby old a friend flew into our small town to visit me. I went to pick her up and learned she had missed a flight connection and wouldn't be in until later. I asked the courtesy desk person, "when is the next flight due in?"

"2:00 pm" she replied.

and me and my son left.

I returned to the airport  at 1:45 pm and noticed the parking lot was vacant. Not a busy flight I shrugged and went to get my son from his car seat. As soon as I unbuckled him I could smell the pungent odor of diarrhea.

Groaning I changed him and looked for a plastic bag to put it in, uggh...none were to be found. It was summer time and the temp was in the 90's. There was NO way I wanted to leave that diaper of vileness cooking in the truck. So I tucked the poopie diaper in the backpack I used for a diaper bag, and headed into the airport, figuring first trash can I found, I would toss it.

As I approached the terminal gate a tall gentleman in a dark suit touched his ear and headed my way.  "Ma'am" he said politely holding up his hand to motion me to stop.

I complied as I juggled the squirming child. Intrigued by this deviation from the normalness of the airport.

"Secret Service, ma'am. State your business here."

Oh really?! how cool! never gotten to talk to secret service before. " Friend missed her flight, airport said next flight due in at 2:00, so checking to see if she is on it."

"Next flight in is Airforce One."  He said leaning to the side eyeing my back pack. "anything hazardous in your backpack?"

Total deer in the head light moments. I just stared at him in silence for a few seconds debating in my head if I should tell him. I burst into hysterical laughter.

oh, great I am to get arrested for smuggling a stinky poopie diaper into the airport that the president will be landing at in a few minutes.

I felt my face flush red as I stopped laughing long enough to say, "only a stinkie poopie diaper I need to toss in the trash."

His eyes crinkled up as he fought his face not to smile. He closed his eyes for a second to get control then touched his ear mike. " ___________, I am sending a woman with a child to you, search the backpack then she is cleared to go in." He winked at me, and motioned me to go ahead.

Bwahahahaaa!

His co-worker was not amused!

So, yes I have been searched by a real life secret service agent. And they let me get within a hundred yards or so, of the president with a WDoMD* in my back pack.

(Wet Diaper of Mass Diarrhea)

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