Monday, December 2, 2013

Guardian training part 2


*************************** TRIGGER WARNING ********************************
discussion of suicide - self injury-and all that other fun stuff that rolls around in my head

Moving down she stopped next to run her hands over the large weeping Buddha's hunched shoulders. She had no delusions, she knew faith doesn't keep pain at bay. That it only gave you another hand to hold in the storm.

Faith dangled a shiny brilliant carrot in front of the faces of those who walked that path. A heavenly reward to make the pain worth while.

There was no carrot before her.  "No reward for this pain" she whispered the tears welling.

The door to the store jingled happily as another person entered. The wind snuck in and blew a reassuring waft of incense to her and set the glass wind chimes to softly tinkling.

"You are a guardian" they said. "the carrot before you is simply this...more pain."

her weight sank to the floor and rooted her there. The sorrow weeping like thick sap down her insides.

How do you keep walking forward when the reward is more pain?

She turned slowly and walked to the bin of rocks. Each step heavy and woody. She dipped her hands in and let the shiny stones encase her. She shut her eyes and let the soothing bubbling from the near by fountain fill her mind with the rushing voice of the water.

Flow on. It said in a quiet voice.

She bought her treasures and stepped from the store.

The magic dissipated quickly and before she was a block away she was returned to the world.

The world where others dance in joyous flight. Where others smiled and laughed and lived with effortless ease.

No one seemed to notice she had to struggle to breath.

She returned to the forest, always the forest.

But today she found it destroyed. Charred limbs and blacked shattered trunks.

"NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed as the pain ripped through her. 'My friends!' she gasped painfully.

The sobs wracked her body and sent her tumbling down. The sorrow to much to contain inside and she clawed at her arms ripping her skin till it was bleeding bloody tears.

They dripped with soft patters into the ash.

My friends! her soul cried again.

The wind stirred and the large trees twisted, their trunks, stiff like old men's backs, groaned as they leaned with it.

"I'm so sorry" she sobbed.

"For what?" the trees asked.

"If this is part of my training, I'm so sorry you got hurt. I am so sorry my madness invaded your world. I am poison, I should stay away from everyone."

She stood up and with head hung low, turned to go.

Behind her was a small sapling just ankle high. Its undamaged leaves looking out of place in the blackness.

"Don't step on me, please." it said bowing politely.

She knelt down and touched its leaves.

"Oh little one, you must be so scared." she sniffed. To find yourself in this madness.

It shifted excitedly in her hand. "I'm not! I'm in training!"

"I'm in training too," she sighed, "To be a guardian....what are you in training for?"

She felt it smile proudly in her hand. Fire.

I'm in training to be fire.

(to be continued)

someone once asked me when I was doing these installment stories if I felt mean teasing my readers.

My answer surprised them.

I am reading along as I am writing. As in I have no idea where the story is going. It simply flows from my hands to the keys.

And tonight the saplings revelation, surprised me. Stopped my writing cold. I was not expecting that. I too am eagerly awaiting the rest of the story, because I have no idea where its going!

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