Tuesday, January 13, 2015

answer me

have you ever just considered that YOU are a special needs individual? Incapable of being anything more than what you are right now?

That being the perfect parent isn't going to happen, because you can only give what you can and that will never be enough in your eyes?

That you will never be the perfect spouse, because of the past and how it has tainted you?

have you ever considered it was miracle you functioned at all in your early years alone? That kind people looked after you until you found the one who would be your care giver as well as your lover?

That your age doesn't equal grown up, it just equals the years you have breathed.

Ever consider that those around you that you think are striding gainfully on a path to something wonderful, are just as lost as you? They are just too afraid to stop and ask directions.

Ever stop to consider that the most damaged individual that you know...doesn't see themselves as you see them?

Ever consider its not your place to know the answers...its to ask the questions?

Ever consider that you are trying to be someone else? That you will fail...because it is not who you are. Fundamentally who you are right now, is the clay you have to work with.

That the task at hand is to find a balance that allows you to breath, and keep living. Allows you to deal with the physical pain and the roller-coaster of mental health issues.

Ever consider that you are who you are going to be....that you will grow up no more. That your body will age, you will gain more life experiences, but this is it. You will not change into that magical person other want you to be, or you might have dreamed you would be.

Now it up to you to fine tune what you have. Strengths, weakness, it all.

answer me.

Do you ever consider all this?

I do, it's my life and it scares me to realize its all true.

1 comment:

  1. I have been trying to change some things about myself the past few years and it has been very difficult. It is not impossible to change, but it sure as hell is hard. It does remind me of my son Zac with CP and how it takes him a LONG time a LOT of practice, hard work and determination before he can master any kind of new skill, even in the smallest way. I never thought of comparing this way, but I believe you are on to something :)