Sunday, May 17, 2015

Before we go there....

why write about my pain?

Cause its mine. I can do anything I want with it. If hearing it will help another person who is struggling, then I'm going to share it.

why write about my pain?

Because every time I share, its a mighty whack at the dark chains that bind my soul. I will some day be free, and return to the surface.

why write about my pain?

Because, pain doesn't define you, you can learn to be at peace with it and still find pockets of peace in this life.

Why write about my past?

Because I am merely describing my psyche which isn't's all armored the fucked up, and ready to go to battle at a moments notice.

Why write about my past?

Because, I'm taking only one or two secrets to my grave. The rest I'm posting on the internet.

Next couple post will be highly triggering. Please use caution. I didn't become this messed up, living in a normal childhood.

For reference:

I was this old when I first fractured out.

I am seven years old and in second grade. All ready have one suicide attempt under my belt. I have already started self injuring. I hate my self. Already I am an island all to my self. Already the class weirdo...the freak.

That smile is because my teacher Mrs. Brown is standing next to the camera. She was a gift from the universe. Someone who saw me. I would have ran away and moved in with her if I could have. She was a lamppost in my past. A guardian with a lantern, who's light saved me.

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