Wednesday, April 1, 2015

You're welcome world of weary shoppers.

As I was held captive in one of the only two lanes open at wal-mart check out...I realized their was a need for my problem solving skills.

First it was a simple run in grab one thing and run out. I really REALLY didn't need to get stuck in the longest line full of old ladies paying in nickels and dimes and 20-something couponing lunatics...and the I'm-gunna-hold-the-line-up-with-WIC-vouchers-that-expired-last-week shoppers.

Why don't you use the self check out?

Because THEY want me too. I will not be forced to get my own groceries, scan my own stuff and bag it too...that's someone's job that is getting cut, so they can make me do it for free. Nope if they want me to do self check out, they have to put me on their payroll.

So as I had time, I started blogging in my head. After three blogs I decided I needed to fix this ridiculous problem.

Here is fix-plan.

1. Teach math to Wal-mart.

Seriously ...if your store has TWENTY check out need TWENTY checkers. Capeesh? The ratio is 20/20 not 20/2.

2. We have the technology...lets use it.

We need carts with a special scanning lid locked on the top of them. You insert your items into it and it scans them. "Packed Accurately" is a key feature that everyone will enjoy. Running tally kept on the handle bar so it eliminates having to hold up the check out line needlessly by returning perishable things.

It can also be set to close automatically after a set amount to spend is keyed in.

When you hit the check out line there will be no waiting or coupon nonsense. You just place the cart in the "Just Accelerate" shoot located in the building wall and once you swipe your card the lid will be removed and the cart will be shot out into the parking lot. No waiting, no bagging.

There will be bag runners who will pack your stuff as they race you basket out to your car, if you really need the stuff bagged.

It will be machine or human will ask you to fill out a CC application, or make small talk with you as you get funneled through the  "Just Accelerate" lane. There will be no candy in the lane to distract your kids, or tempt your dieting plans. Just speed, no delay.

The whole system will be called P.A.J.A for short, and it will revolutionize shopping.