Monday, May 12, 2014

how weird is that?

Mother's day really makes me uncomfortable.

Its not that I dislike being a mother, its I truly dislike being the target of attention.

I find when I must work on mother's day its painful to have everyone telling me "happy mothers day." I literally find my self cringing. I usually nod my head and scurry away. I don't even now what I am suppose to say.

Those I know who are mothers I will say it back to them. Its even hard to just say "thank you" to those who I don't know.

I am still very shy even at my ripe old age of 48. I have lived by a code I instilled in childhood to keep the awkward part of me from saying stupid things. DO NOT SPEAK UNTIL SPOKEN TOO. But even then I trip over my tongue and say stupid things in reply.

It almost like I should have been born mute.

Mute and invisible...yeah that would have been the perfect combination.

I wish there was a cure for social awkwardness.

Maybe its not me...maybe the discomfort lies in the forced nature of the holiday. I just don't want to participate in the $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ commercialized nature of the day.

Nothing you can give me or say to me once a year will change the fact that I am a mother. No present or card or flowers will ever top the presents that my husband gave to me, our children.

No comments:

Post a Comment