Thursday, May 9, 2013

Menfolk, caution: I'm gunna use the T word.

I skipped my period last month.

Since I am fixed there are no pregnancy worries.

I am hoping this is the start of actual menopause vs my thyroid just (DELETED)ing with me, as it has done in the past.

Periods should be something women can turn off and on at will.

Don't want it anymore? go visit the Maxi-pad Alter and sacrifice tampons to the statue of Aunt Flow, and *boop* its gone.

Want to get pregnant?  go to the store and order what you want. The kid at the counter should say stuff like "Light flow to go, hold the cramps!"

I'm so ready for it to go away.

I also would prefer it goes away soon. Before my daughter reaches puberty.

Can you imagine the hell my house would become with a pre-teen with raging PMS hormones and a old bat like me suffering hot flashes and menopausal hormone flairs? That is akin to crossing the streams in Ghost busters! You just don't want to unleash that much unholy hell!

My poor menfolk would have to move out. Their lives would be in danger.


  1. Don't be getting your hopes up for an earlier achievement of menopause. Thyroid not withstanding. It's not called the curse for nothing!

    1. I'm currently winning, and I will not relinquish my lead to you! I will finish first!