P Piper

We all have useless skills. I seem to have more then most and I am not sure why. Quirky things like I can write with both hands and both my feet. I can whistle in and out. I can lay a quarter on my wrist, snap my fingers and have it flip over without falling off. But one that baffles me, and I have never found a good use for, is my pied piperness. I can with little and sometimes no effort at all, run off with all the kids.

Last week I took JUR and Hansolo to the park. JUR ran off to play alone in the sand and Hansolo wanted me to drive in the "jeep" with her. I parked my middle aged self in the back seat and opened my book and began to read. A few pages later I glanced up to find the jeep overflowing with children. I scanned the play ground. Only two kids were not on the jeep.

What an utterly useless nonsensical skill this is.

I remember when farm Grandma and I had taken then 5 year old KSS to the park. As she played happily with the other kids I mentioned to Grandma that I was a Pied Piper and in less than 60 seconds could have all the kids on the playground rounded up and on the merry-go-round. She studied the number of kids out there and took off her watch and said. "your on."

"Your buying dinner if I can do it in less than 30 seconds." I said standing up. "tell me when."

"GO!" she said laughing.

I sprang away from the bench with a terrific scream. "IEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAGGGHHHHH!!!! THE GROUND IS HOT LAVA GET TO HIGH GROUND!!"

I grabbed KSS on the way past and we bounded onto the merry-go-round, "COMMON MAN!" I yelled to the other kids "MOVE IT MOVE IT DON'T GET BURNED UP!!"

I spun the merry-go-round as the kids flocked onto it. The kids joined in reaching and hauling aboard fellow men in the lava. When the last was aboard I triumphantly raised my arms and looked at Grandma.

She was too busy rolling on the ground laughing her arse off to document the time.

Its not just an verbal skill either. It just happens even when I am trying to be invisible.

On JURs first day in special-ed pre-school, I was allowed to attend the class to help ease his transition into the program. Knowing about my Piperness I was very careful to try to be invisible as possible, I sat quietly on a bench in the corner. The kids kept ignoring the two teachers and coming to me. They brought me toys, books and even just came and sat next to me. I smiled at them and gently redirected them back to the teachers. There came a point that I had the class...the whole class, I was not talking to them they just all migrated to my space. The teachers were watching me with surprised looks on their faces.

I had wanted to be a teacher when I grew up, but my issues with spelling/grammar killed that dream. That was the only use for this skill I could think of.

Back to the present and the park and the jeep. I sighed and tucked my book away, some thing's you just can't fight, and when you got it you got it. "FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS! HANSOLO'S A MANIAC SHE IS DRIVING WAAAY TO FAST!!" I made a gunning engine sound.

I leaned out of the jeep door and then pleaded for help to be pulled back in. The kids reached for me and helped me back in. I noticed the last two kids had joined us. aahh, I still have it.

What ever it is.