Wednesday, July 4, 2012
I am 25 hours with no pepsi as of 11 pm.
After seeing recent pictures of me I realized just how unhealthy I look. Prior to the accident I was soda free and had been on an exercise program for a week trying to get healthy again. Loosing weight with thyroid issues is so much fun do-dah, do-dah (sing it with me!)
The pepsi and I have a long on/off again relationship. When the fatigue of thyroid issues overwhelm me I turn back to it. I know I can go years without it. But I can't quite kick it for good.
The accident was like some evil thing that entered my life and sat down and said, drink pepsi and stop working out, you are a victim, you know this role, sit stay.
On my other boards I mentioned that being in the car accident was a lot like being raped. It brought up the same damaging PTSD symptoms. The same helplessness straight jacket that fits oh so well, and cinched it on me. The same someone else is in control and I have no power. Someone came in physically hurt me and left and I am being treated like dirt by the insurance company. I felt violated.
I took my power back the other night.
I drew a line in the sand and turned around.
I will not allow this to shove me back and hold me from walking on.
I did so by returning to where I was in my life before the accident. Focused on eating and living better.