petrified eunuch testicles in the medicine cabinet

Yes you read that right.

Did I mention I come from an unusual family?  I grew up with no cable, and extended periods of no TV. We read a lot. There was a huge set of encyclopedias that we poured over investigating "things."  I got my first library card at 4 years old.

I knew more stuff then the average child. My mama read the Iliad and the Odyssey to us. She read us just tons of stuff, feeding our growing minds with all sorts of interesting stuff.

Which is probably why we ended up with petrified eunuch testicles in the medicine cabinet.

They didn't start out as balls, in fact they were my fathers tonsils. Shriveled up and floating in some mysterious murky fluid.

We loved to look at them. This was better then finding two sticks of gum in your baseball cards. Our family had body parts in the bathroom!!

I don't remember who first christened them testicles. But it made for good sport to terrorize our friends who asked to use our bathroom.

"Don't look in the medicine cabinet..." We would whisper.

"Why?" our friends would ask.

"There are petrified eunuch testicles in there!"

Oh the fun! I once even made a whole dollar by showing them to the neighbor girl's out of town company.

At some point my mother insisted they go.

I'm not sure why. They were so creepy and wonderfully macabre and I totally wanted them left to me in their will.

Can you imagine the look on the lawyers face at the reading of the will??

"and to my beloved daughter P I leave, the encyclopedias, all the agates and obsidian and the petrified eunuch test...what the hell!!??"

They were eventually cremated with one of my brothers and sprinkled into the ocean.

Which is a shame. I could have made a fortune selling them on eBay.