Wednesday, August 8, 2012

answers continued


Three interesting questions posed to me this morning.

1. What is your most famous piece of writing?
2. What is your all time favorite thing you have written?
3. Are you like this in real life? (as confident as you sound)

ROTFLMAO...#2 okay, what comes to mind this very second is "My profile on my yearbook reunion site" I don't even know the link, or what the blasted thing is called, and as far as I know only one person in the planet has ever read it but that doesn't matter.

I didn't save a copy and only remember parts of it.

this is what I remember:

what did you do after high school?:

Joined a Russian circus to immerse myself in the language so I could learn it. (a total lie by the way)

further schooling?:

I attended Tanglewood Military Academy and got a degree in Crudunzel repair. (exspanding on my lies)

Being the smart arse that I am I couldn't resist messing with them. Besides who read that stuff anyway?

Well apparently the clerk who has to key in your answers! LOL!

Shortly after sending the info in I got a call from said person wanting to verify my info. Having the anonymity of the phone to hide my laughter and huge grin I proceeded to answer her questions off the cuff and convincingly to back up my serving of bull already established by my answers.

Clerk: says here you joined the circus?

Wait, was that snarky disbeleif I heard in her voice?

Me: Yes. I wanted to be an interpreter when I joined the Army and I wanted to prefect my Russian prior to enlisting. All I really remember after all these years is - Beringetsig-yah enzin Temhota' which means "dont piss off the elephants"

(actually I did know a little Russian, took it in college and self taught myself and its IS true that all I remember is that phrase, but it means Beware of Darkness.)

Clerk: (some of the disbelief leaving her voice) Says you attended Tanglewood military Academy?

Me: Yes, ma'am. I enlisted in the Army after returning from Russia.

Clerk: says you got a degree in Crudunzel repair? what is that?

Me: Are you familiar with explosives at all? Have you ever heard of mercury switches? The Crudunzel is the machine that calibrates them.

Clerk: yes ...(disbelief gone, totally sold now on my fibs) I never heard of that before!

Oh yes you have! If you have ever see Dr Seuss's tv adaption of The cat in the Hat  - the cat uses a moss-covered-three-handled-family-crudunzel to clean up his mess!

After she read throught the rest of the form accepting all my other fibbery she thanked me and hung up.  I hung up too and laughed my arse off.

oh, as a writer I love LOVE LOVE those fill in the blanks. I can't contain myself to be serious. And you are just asking for mischief and nincompoopery from me if you present them too me. My favorite writing is the silly stuff that makes me laugh. But to choose just one piece would be too difficult. I guess the best answer to two is: any of my writing that makes my readers respond.

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